TikTok Ruined My Relationship! How Can I Save It?Last Updated on November 17, 2023 Rhea Cabalida
Most relationships have a romantic and happy start. Both of them are completely head over heels for each other, they are affectionate, and understanding. But, when unavoidable things get in between the relationship, things usually fall apart.
A common factor that creates conflict and destroys relationships is Social Media. But, Social Media is supposed to be fun and exciting right? Why does it ruin relationships? Well, that is because it has dark sides that people refuse to see.
In this article, we are going to talk about the ever-so-popular TikTok. We will discuss how it affects relationships and how to overcome issues because of it. Read on!
Part 1: How TikTok Ruined My Relationship
TikTok is the fastest-growing social media platform in the world with over 1.677 billion users around the world. And that is all thanks to its unique and refreshing concept.
But, critics say that the platform has become toxic over the years. It has videos about bullying, hate speech, racism, fake information, and even personal/relationship feuds.
I’ve seen posts on numerous social media platforms saying that their relationship started to fall apart after they joined TikTok.
We dug deep into TikTok’s social system and listed some factors on why TikTok ruins relationships. Read them below.
It Creates Unrealistic Expectations
We see a lot of posts on TikTok where couples look so happy. They go on vacations and dates to these beautiful places. Some also show they have a perfect and amazing life. And truthfully, there’s no problem in seeing these videos, the problem only arises when a person starts to want the things they see.
When one person in the relationship starts to compare their lives to those influencers who post their fictitious videos, some people adopt unrealistic standards and force their partner to do the same thing. In short, they want to have what others have.
When they see a famous influencer do this and do that, they will also try hard to do those things even if their partner disagrees. They expect that their relationship will be better if they join the trend. But it's not, it will only create disagreement.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting things, but not everything shown there is true, people just create them for clout, or to make them feel better about themselves. Those people who post fancy stuff are also dealing with issues in their own reality.
Sharing Relationship Issues on TikTok is Like Inviting the Whole World to Judge
You might have seen couples do trends or share things about their relationship on TikTok, and personally, I find this adorable. But some people take this sharing to a whole new level.
I know someone who posts a lot of sweet videos with her boyfriend. She also creates emotional content, rants, and records herself crying when they fight. When she does that, people will start making false accusations against her boyfriend.
The girl received sympathy based on her videos and posts, she is the victim. The boyfriend, on the other hand, received backlash. He was the one at fault, even though no one knew the truth about their situation. Their fight became bigger and the boyfriend also posted some videos and said unpleasant things about the girl. Their issue became viral and they posted that they had broken up.
So here’s what I have to say, they could have solved the issue by themselves and it doesn't have to be shared on TikTok. This type of action can embarrass the other person and they will develop resentment towards their partners. They could have avoided so much trouble and salvaged the relationship.
Sometimes, keeping things private between the two of you is better. Most private or low-key relationships last longer and end up settling down together. Flexing your partner and making TikTok videos with them is great, but know the things you can and can’t post.
TikTok Addiction - An Accomplice to Self-Indulgence
Yes, social media addiction is real. And just like any other addiction, a person’s partner and other personal relationships will be affected.
I saw a video of my wife asking “What should I do? My husband is obsessed with TikTok!”. Her husband lost his job and became depressed. TikTok became his coping mechanism, he spends the whole day watching videos and does not have any interest in finding a job. He got addicted.
When a person gets hooked on the platform, their lives will revolve around their TikTok page and their followers. And obviously, people around them will be affected, especially their partners.
They will start to neglect the real things that are happening around them. For example, if their relationship or family is going through a difficult time, they will not be around to help solve the problem. They would rather stay on TikTok where everything is fun and happy.
It’s the Unexpected Third-Party
Based on the statistics presented by Oberlo, a person spends an average of 45.8 minutes per day on TikTok. But that’s just the average, meaning there are users on the app who stay more than 45 minutes per day.
TikTok is a highly attractive app because of its videos, filters, challenges, and trends. And let’s admit it, we love the attention we get on TikTok. When our videos get a lot of views and likes, we get encouraged to post more.
And this is where the problem starts for some couples.
When one person in the relationship has more time making TikTok videos than spending quality time with their partner, jealousy will arise. When their spouse prioritizes their followers more than them, they will think that getting social media attention is more important.
Every time they hang out or go out on a date, they are always on their phone watching videos. They always record all the things they do. Take videos of food, the place, and even when they are eating.
It's not wrong to do these things, but couples need private moments. While eating or strolling around, they can talk about things or enjoy each other's company without worrying about the right video angle.
TikTok - The Root of Jealousy and Mistrust
There are a lot of attractive people on TikTok, and sometimes we feel insecure seeing how flawless these people are compared to us. I have friends who always complain “My boyfriend looks at other females on TikTok! Those girls are more attractive than me, what if he finds a prettier girl and leaves me?”.
When a person starts to feel this insecurity, it will manifest in their relationship. When they see their partners enjoying their time on TikTok, they will assume that it's because of those attractive people. They are suspicious and they think that their spouse is having an affair on the app.
Trust issues don't just develop because of insecurity, sometimes, a person will have this feeling that something is going on with their partner. Maybe they see him/her always on TikTok, being secretive with their phone, and notice some changes in their behavior.
As I said in #4, when a person starts to prioritize TikTok over their partner, jealousy will arise. This will create misunderstandings and will slowly weaken the foundation and trust in the relationship.
Part 2: Tips to Salvage Your Relationship
The things listed above are just some factors in how TikTok can ruin relationships. But, it's not too late, no matter how much damage the platform has caused to your relationship, there’s still a way to bring things back to normal.
If you’re currently on the verge of losing your partner, we listed some tips that can help save your relationship.
Deal with the Problem Head On!
Talk about the problem. Yes, I know it’s hard to face an issue, but it’s the only solution. Communicating your issues and other things will help build trust. This will clear out all the doubts and solve the unanswered questions.
Talk about everything, and say what you feel. It could be something like:
How did this problem start?
Do we still love each other? Can we still be together?
Do you think something is changing in our relationship?
Can we fix it? Are we willing to compromise?
Discuss how these things are affecting your relationship. Be honest and speak your truth.
Try to be open-minded and understanding, do not engage in fights because it will make things worse and you won’t be able to solve anything.
Also, apologize to each other. Take accountability for your mistakes, showing your partner that you are sincere about fixing the relationship. Be calm; whatever the outcome, you have to accept it.
If you Talk the Talk, then you must Walk the Walk
If ever the talk turns out well and you decide to give your relationship another shot, you must prioritize setting some boundaries and changing things. This will help you avoid the past issues and focus more on the relationship.
If you don’t know where to start, here are some things that might help.
- Have a break on TikTok and other social media sites. If this is impossible, at least try to lessen your exposure.
- Avoid needing to film and post everything on TikTok and other platforms.
- Avoid using phones when you’re together. Enjoy each other's company without distraction.
- Do not share your fights online. Fake sympathizers will only poison your mind.
Both of you must follow the boundaries you have set to make things work. It will be hard, but you have to do your best to save your relationship.
It’s Time to Move On and Start Fresh
Last but not least, you need to learn how to let go. Forget what happened in the past, learn from your mistakes, and never linger on them.
Avoid bringing up past issues whenever you have an argument for this will add fuel to the fire and make your fight even bigger. Start a new phase in your relationship. Enjoy each other's company, plan your future, and learn how to be content.
TikTok can make us happy and it can help people, but there’s more to the world than social media. Go out and have fun with your partner, you don’t need the world’s validation to live a beautiful life.
Tip: Ease Your Suspicions with mSpy
If you still think that your partner has some other business on TikTok aside from watching videos, why not use a monitoring tool like mSpy?
mSpy is one the best and most reliable monitoring tools in the market today. It is packed with features that can help see what someone is doing on their phones remotely. Yes! With mSpy, you can freely see what business your spouse is hiding on their TikTok account without getting caught!
Here are some of its cool features:
Keyloggers - This will show you their typing history and reveal their potential TikTok account password and username. You might even see some saucy messages that they deleted right away.
Screen Recorder - This feature will secretly record their phone activity. You will be able to see all the dirty things they are doing behind your back.
Video and Photo Gallery - They might have saved videos and pictures of their favorite influencer and are hiding them from you. Well, there’s no need to force them to show it to you because mSpy will give you easy access.
Installed App - You might have agreed to stay away and uninstall the TikTok apps on your phones, but you still think that your partner didn't do it. You can check if he followed your agreement by looking at all their installed applications through mSpy.
Aside from these, mSpy can also read text messages/DMs from social media apps, track locations, block apps/sites/WIFI networks, and more! Get it now and discover the truth.
Don’t let your world revolve around social media. The people around you are much more important than the likes and views you receive. It's better to live your life without the pressure of TikTok and other platforms. You will have a clearer view of what the world is and learn to appreciate the people who love you.