Last updated On Jan. 27th, 2018
Infidelity sucks. Nothing feels more miserable than being cheated by someone you love.
However, circumstances change.
Here is a typical case of seeking help you can see in Quora:
I must say, I busted my lover by WhatsApp cheating on me with someone he met at work. He and I had been together almost 3years. Now, I do know to kick him to the curb. However, my heart is still open to him... I am a few years older than him, but I had expected for me and him to grow together in the relationship we had. .Now that I am hurt, confused, angry, not knowing what to do with myself, I'm not really looking for someone else new because I trusted him and trust is really hard to give to someone new.... I'm open for anyone's opinion. ;(
Of course, it’s not an individual case.
And there are some facts you may want to know about infidelity. (Click the "+" below to upfold.)
Lovers crave for being love, but sometimes they just go too far. Alas!
We hope you’ll lucky enough without directly experiencing these infidelity problems, but sometimes, only it happens to you can you understand the cold hard numbers.
In a nutshell, we suggest that you should be prepared and know what to do, just in case.
Now, there are three ways that I think infidelity hurts differently today. We have a romantic ideal in which we turn to one person to fulfill an endless list of needs: to be my greatest lover, my best friend, the best parent, my trusted confidant, my emotional companion, my intellectual equal. And I am it: I'm chosen, I'm unique, I'm indispensable, I'm irreplaceable, I'm the one. And infidelity tells me I'm not. It is the ultimate betrayal. Infidelity shatters the grand ambition of love. But if throughout history, infidelity has always been painful, today it is often traumatic, because it threatens our sense of self.——ESTHER PEREL
Here is a story about Nancy, who is married, two kids.
One day her husband Eric came back from a business trip, and Nancy was playing on his new iPhone 8 when Eric was taking a shower when she saw a WhatsApp message appear on the screen: “I need to feel you inside me…” She frowned. And then another message: " I feel so small when you wrap your arms around me…I miss that so much" Something bad happened, Nancy realized, and felt everything in her whole life collapse. Instead of freaking out, she put down the iPhone and pretended to sleep after taking a deep breath for a few minutes. It was a long night.
Is he cheating? When did it happen? And how long does it last? Who is she? Someone at work? Or just a one night stand? Is it a hookup, paid sex, a chat room, a massage with a happy ending? Is she more charming? Or maybe just much younger…
She was deeply upset.
Nancy wished to know every single detail of it before confronting her unfaithful husband.
She decided to check Eric’s phone again the next day, but she found out that the call logs and the iMessages in the last five days, and messages in WhatsApp were deleted. Desperate.
What would you do if you were Nancy?
Think for a minute about how a cheating spouse might try to deny your accusations (e.g. It’s not what it looks like! It’s a misunderstanding, etc.), and you don’t gather the evidence you need to counter what he or she says.
We think people who are betrayed by their lover have the right to know what is going on. At least, it will help to strengthen your resolve to address the problem and remove doubt from your mind.
So, here are a few practical tips for referencing.(Click the "+" below to upfold.)
6 Practical Tips for how to catch a cheater:
- Keep a journal of your spouse’s reported activities. Write down the times, dates, places, other people involved, excuses given, etc. Your journal will become invaluable as you compare what’s said with phone bills, credit card statements, ATM withdrawals, talk to other people, etc. A cheating spouse is likely to change his or her story, or question your memory, so keeping a record of everything is critical.
- Keep track of all incoming phone calls. Record the time and number of all calls.
- Plan a surprise visit to work, or come home at unexpected times, or make announcements about having to work late, but then come home early, etc.
- Keep track of your spouse’s mileage, receipts, credit card statements, ATM withdrawals, phone records, etc.
- If you can, check your spouse’s call log. Look for an unusual amount of phone calls. Keep in mind that cheating spouses often store their lover’s phone number under someone else’s name: a friend, a co-worker, etc.
- You can also purchase surveillance equipment (hidden cameras and voice activated recorders) or download computer monitoring software (keylogger) which will make it easier for you to monitor your spouse’s activities. Using such equipment, however, can raise some legal issues.
Some of you might even come up with the idea that hiring a private investigator or using spy apps to monitor your spouse’s cell phone.
Frankly speaking, it may works.
Since your sensitive spouses have notice that you got the feeling of their escapades, they will definitely make it more elusive and more difficult to be detected.
It may takes days even months to gather all the evidence you want.
Today, we all attach to our phones almost all day long. Mobile data, especially the text messages, contains every secret you have. If you have ever seen the episode "The Entire History of You" from the Black Mirror, you won’t be surprised that your cheating spouses will deleted anything considered as evidence of their escapades (e.g., messages, call logs, contacts, etc.), when they are aware of something.
(Screenshots from the Black Mirror episode 3: The Entire History of You, which concludes with a disturbing drama about infidelity.)
However, you can undeleted it.
Data recovery in iPhone and Android mobile is way too easy in nowadays if you pick the right tools.
Ready-made selection of data recovery software.
You can find a lot of data recovery software by googling “iPhone data recovery",“iOS data recovery " or “android data recovery”.
What’s more,in case you don’t have enough time to test all these software (since not all of them are reliable), you can click a software advice website which is well organized and of which products are reviewed in detail. Such as “Top 7 VERY Best iPhone Data Recovery Software ”, etc.
If your cheating spouse uses iPhone. Download Deleted iPhone Data Recovery as Below:Free Download for Windows Free Download for Mac
If your cheating spouse uses Android Phone. Download Deleted Android Data Recovery as Below:Free Download for Windows Free Download for Mac
Install the tool on your computer and follow steps as below.
Step 1. Connect your spouses’ mobile with computer.
Launch FoneLab. Connect your spouses’ iOS/Android device to the computer with a USB cable. Click on “Data recovery”. No password is needed.
Step 2. Scan your spouses’ mobile to recover deleted texts on it.
Click the “Start Scan” to let the program scan the device. The process will last a few minutes, depending on the amount of data on the device. Don't unplug the phone during the scanning.
Step 3. Preview the scanned data and reveal the cheater’s true colours.
The scanned data generated by the program includes deleted and existing data, such as messages, photos & videos, contacts, call history, WhatsApp, Messenger, Viber, Kik, etc. No need to click the “restore” bottom. You can simply find the messages, and photos exchanged and desires expressed with the operation interface.
So far, you have got some clues, mostly, texts with phone number of the home wrecker. And it’s time to know who she/he is in real life.
With the information you get from recovering the deleted data of your cheating spouses’ mobile, you can easily locate the one whom your spouse is cheating with.
Google is the best search engine all around the world. It has the ability to dig things out of the darkest and remotest corners of the internet. Google the phone number, sometimes you can score a direct hit. Worth a shot.
With the social net world penetration of all aspects of real life, Facebook is the best way to lookup based on a phone number. Just enter the phone number in the search box at the top of your Facebook homepage. If someone has their phone number associated with their Facebook profile, their name will appear as the top search result, despite all of their privacy settings and even if you are not friends.
There are a few free reverse phone lookup websites, such as zlookup.com, and spydialer.com, etc. Performing a reverse phone search on these websites, you may find out the address, name, landline number or email.
At this point, you have ripped away the secrecy your spouse kept for so long. Perhaps you need some time to calm down, and figure out how to face this awful mess.
It’s unfair, but it seems the only way to resolve the knot in your mind by talking about it with your lover.
Knowing what is he/she thinking, and what is their choice. You may expect a confession or a fight, but you should stay rational and patient. All you got is a life lesson, a reward for your mental matureness.
Forgive or not, don't let your friends, family, and the results you search on google decide for you. Follow your heart and make your own decision.
Don’t obsessed with the past.Trust me, it won’t be worth mentioning in the near future.
At last, here is a Ted video suitable for your state of mind recommending to you.
Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved | Esther Perel
*We hope you enjoyed reading this post.
If you wish to retrieve deleted messages from a mobile phone, you are welcome to try these tools for Free.
By The Way. For those who want to Spy on Text Messages, you can turn to How to Spy on Text Messages for iPhone and Android Phone.